Sunday, September 14, 2008

Master's weekend in review

When I graduated with my bachelor's degree in 2003 I clearly remember thinking that there was no way I could ever attempt a Master's degree. I so badly wanted to be done with school (well, my student role in it, anyway). The thought of going back was unfathomable. Then last fall I had a student teacher who was doing his observation hours with me before beginning his student teaching in the spring. He got me seriously considering the possibility of taking the leap. I began my pursuit in earnest in February with Lesley University. This weekend was my official launch into the program.

I worked through last week with the knowledge that my weekend was going to be completely sucked up into class and that I would (horror of horrors!) not get a single morning to sleep in (a true hardship). But worse than that, I had barely been able to see my dearest husband all week. He's been working a few side jobs to earn a little extra money which required late nights every night last week. He would get home after I had gone to bed nearly every night. So we had literally a cumulative of about 40 minutes a day in which we were awake and in the vicinity of one another. It felt as though I needed to start writing notes to him throughout the day so I could remember things that I wanted to tell him in our precious few minutes of conversation each day. So facing a weekend where we had MUCH to work on around the house (that's for a different blog post altogether) and knowing that I would not see him but for an hour or two before bed time wasn't making me feel terribly confident about my choice of going back to school. I wondered if I could handle the time commitment, the workload demands, and *shudder* the paper writing... eegads if there's something I hate to do, that would be it. I'd gleefully clean the bathroom before writing a paper. Our first 5 hours of class started Friday night at 5, after a long day of work. Joy.

But surprise surprise, it actually was a joy. Holy cats is this going to be a stinking awesome ride! I wish I could do justice to the experience but I know that like some secret societies, some things are just better left in the circle. But I can see how these people will become my extended family already. I've been out of class now for 2 and a half hours and I miss them!! Don't get me wrong, I had moments where my eyes were crossing and my brain was functioning at half-power but spending 23 hours of my weekend with one group of 22 people was an exercise in team-building that I didn't expect. I have met some WONDERFUL people that I cannot wait to see again, already. We ate our meals together, we planned future meals, we supported one another, laughed at one another and with one another... This is dangerously close to Mr. Roger's touchy-feely-ness, I realize. But truly, I'm floored by what I get to spend the next 21 months doing.

I suppose I have to disclose, however, my mortification for the weekend. Most of you know about my arachnophobia. To say it's debilitating is an understatement. This afternoon we were having a serious discussion when what should I look down to see on my paper? I, true to form, freaked, threw my papers on the floor and jumped about 6 feet back while everyone turned to stare at me, completely dumbfounded. The initial fear was enough to get the sweat going, the shaking and the heart racing (I have a GREAT flight response), but then the emotion caught up to me and the tears started to flow (only in part due to my embarrassment). It's humiliating to be so utterly undone by something so small and I have zero rationale for it. I suppose I should revist my spider therapy from a year ago though I'm in no way up for carrying the spider in my purse for a week ordeal, and definitely not without a counselor telling me I have to. So now my new friends know that I'm a mental case, but to their credit no one laughed and my unwanted guest was promptly removed from class.

So anyway, I'm really happy to be done with my first loooooooong weekend, not wild about heading back to work tomorrow, but super excited for what I've started. It's absolutely the right program for me; a fear that has plagued me since I decided to go for it last February. Now I need to finish writing down a few thoughts on the activities of the weekend before my memories escape me and I crash into bed.

4 comments:

Zac's mommy said...

HOORAY! I'm thrilled to hear that you're thrilled! I'd write more, but I'm brain-dead with sleep deprivation. Love you, talk soon.

christylynng said...

I had a great time getting to know everyone too. I don't have blogspot but I do have myspace. My myspace page is: http://www.myspace.com/christylynng

Let me know if you want to grab dinner sometime in between sessions. It will give me a chance to get my husband out of the house :)

Have a great week!

Christy

Stephanie said...

That's great that you're so happy about your program. I know how that feels to be so afraid if something is going to work out and then it's better than you could imagine. Best of wishes!

And as far as the spider goes, I have a severe fear of Black Widows since I've lived here in Vegas. I won't get into the story, but it gave me nightmares for awhile.

Althea said...

Hi there, I am so happy for you. I know you will do well in this new endevor. You will learn a lot improve on the skills you have now and have a whole new future ahead of you. Just look at your big sis.
Thanks for the kind words on the previous posts.
Love you Dad